First, a disclaimer. Heretofore, those on the right who vocally opposed the healthcare bill and actually did the things mentioned herein will be referred to as "Republicans." Those in the so-called "Tea Party Movement" who actually did the things mentioned herein will be referred to as "Teabaggers." (Because it's funny.) This is not to include Republicans who had a realistic and logical reason to oppose the bill, nor will it refer to Tea Party members who are more than just lemmings mindlessly following messages from the telescreens. Please respond not by being offended, but rather by asking yourself if these comments really apply to you?
Wow, Republicans. Teabaggers. Wow. What a loss! Not only did President Obama accomplish this healthcare reform thing, a historic measure to be sure, but he insured his legacy and re-established that although you are a very vocal minority, you are just that - a minority. That must hurt. And after all that you did to try and stop this disaster. But hey, guys, cheer up! Although the outcome was not as you would have hoped, look at the things you accompished along the way....
- You really developed a knack for creative fiction writing. I mean those news reports, stories, and lies you made up about the contents of the healthcare bill were sheer genius. I mean not even Seth Grahame-Smith, the author of "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter," could seamlessly weave science fiction and actual events like you guys did. I mean, Death Panels, Socialized takeover of the healthcare system, Glenn Beck comparing progressives to China, GENIUS. Even the House Republicans were "debating" Sunday night right up to the end that the bill involved Socialism, even though the Public Option has been long gone. You still complained that the bill was being shoved down America's throat even after a year and a half of debate, and the bill NOT being passed when Democrats had the ABILITY to shove something down our throats. Bravi!
- You showed that you've got BALLS. I mean, you whine and complain that Obama's not listening to you, and then when he holds a summit in order to let you have your say, and he takes your suggestions and incorporates them into the new bill, you STILL get away with opposing it. That's Gangsta! For John "Keating Five/Support President Bush Even Though You Hate Him So You Can Run In 2008" McCain to publicly accuse Obama of back room deals and corruption. That takes a brass set bigger than Alec Baldwin's in "Glengarry Glen Ross."
- The first step towards your society where dumb people mindlessly follow whatever you say is almost complete. You have the Teabaggers who will jump and protest whenever you call them out. And they are devoting themselves to their "Two Minutes Hate" otherwise known as Fox News and are spewing back the propaganda you report as if it's true, even when it makes no logical sense, or even if it negates the stories you just reported earlier. Right now, people are blogging and facebooking about how their private insurance is going to drop them now because of the healthcare bill, even though the healthcare bill makes that illegal. You've even got them complaining about how long the bill is, and how hard it is to read and make sense of, and yet speaking as if they know the complete contents from cover to cover. George Orwell would be proud.
- A few slip ups aside... you managed to stay consitent with your rhetoric, calling Obama a "Socialist" not what we all know you want to call him. You managed to replace the bad word with Terrorist, Liberal, Muslim, Socialist, and even Kenyan. Just as you use "Liberal" and "Democrat" when you mean "Hippie" or "Pussy." But there were those slip ups. You have to reel the protesters in, because their racism and classism is starting to show. Stay on message. Keep this about the policies and leadership abilities. Keep the prejudice for when you're off camera.
- And finally. Keep your chin up. I know you are all planning to make a comeback in 2010 to take back the majority of the congress. I know 34 Democratic seats that won't be getting much party support. Of course, 7 months from now, after the first phases of the reform bill take effect and people realize that the Nazi and KGB soldiers aren't raiding towns looking for Jews and dissidents, you may not get the logical free thinker vote. But hey, you still have the mindless drones. Who'll have better healthcare and possibly a job by then.... OK, don't think about that, just keep it positive.
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