Don't Try This At Home - Week 9

As I write this, meteorologists are predicting a snowstorm. They admit, there are high temperatures, and maybe we're talking about an inch or 2. Some are exaggerating and claiming 10 inches. (insert dirty joke here.) It's not the facts that people are responding to, though. It's the tone. I heard a report about the impending storm EVERY 10 minutes! Events are being shut down, school activities are being cancelled, for what? A mere dusting of white stuff on the ground?

When I initially started writing "Don't Try This At Home," it was a response to the very idea that on a show like, say, Jackass, they do ridiculously moronic and dangerous stunts that no one with an IQ over 80 would even THINK would be fun; and yet they NEED to put up a disclaimer: "These stunts are dangerous, don't try this at home." My first reaction was... DUH! Is anybody out there really stupid enough to want to try this stuff? And then a frightening thought popped into my head. YES. Some people are morons. And the world is such that programs need to protect themselves by making clear that they do not wish anyone to try this stupidity on their own.

But as I thought of examples to write about, I started to think about how much our thinking is influenced by the media. Without a show like Jackass, would anyone even consider stapling their nuts together? No! But Steve-O does it, and somehow we're tempted to want to try it. And that extends to other things. Perhaps you know someone who, during a political discussion, simply regurgitates what they heard on FOX news, or Rachel Maddow the night before; rather than offering a new perspective.

So, mimicking real life, my song begins by pointing out a simple, interesting fact, but then gradually evolves into a distopian, Orwellian reality where "Our Free Will Is Gone." This is about as political as I get. Enjoy!

Don't Try This At Home - Music and Lyrics by Carl J Ferrara (c) 1994

They have to tell us what's right and what's wrong.
They have to tell us that it's only a song.
They have to tell us, "Hey, don't be like us."
They have to tell us that it's dangerous.
           It's a scary world that we live in if we can't be trusted on our own.
           And they have to tell us Don't Try This At Home.

They have to tell us, "Hey, be careful out there."
They tell us to be cautious, they tell us to be scared.
They tell us who to hate, they tell us who to love.
They have to tell us there's a God above.
          It's a scary world that we live in if we can't be trusted on our own.
          And they have to tell us Don't Try This At Home.

They have to tell us what's black and what's white,
They tell us to be peaceful then show us how to fight.
They tell us what to think, they tell us what to feel,
But they forgot to tell us that this fiction ain't real!

They tell us what's right, and then they tell us what's cool.
They tell us who's a god, they tell us who's a fool.
They have to tell us whose side we're on.
They have to tell us that our free will is gone.
           It's a scary world that we live in if we can't be trusted on our own.
           And they have to tell us Don't Try This At Home.

Rule Number Six - Week 8 - Art of Possibility Ch. 6

Two Prime Ministers are having lunch, and a staffer interrupts their meeting. She's very upset, and in a frenzy. "Sir, I hate to interrupt, but I have to talk to you." The PM says, "Gladys, Remember Rule Number Six." She calms down, apologizes, and leaves. This happens two more times with two other staffers; both very upset until they hear "Remember Rule Number Six."

The other PM asks, "OK, I just have to know, what IS rule number six?"

"Stop taking yourself so God Damned Seriously!"

"That is Awesome! What about the other rules?"

"There Aren't Any."

This parable begins Chapter Six of "Art of Possibility." It deals with what the Zanders call the "Calculating Self," which exists in the world of competition, and causes you to feel the need to fight for supremacy. As opposed to the "Central Self" which is focused on what you actually want or need. In other words, if you're arguing, the central self wants to resolve the conflict and find a solution, but the calculating self wants to win the argument at all costs, even if it means shouting at the top of your lungs something completely false.

The song came easily to me. It's a Blues. Here's the stories of people, (sometimes me) who take themselves very seriously indeed, and the hook is just stating the rule over and over. I "wrote" the song in 2009, when I conceived the project, which is to say I planned the format of the song. I imagined that I could easily plug in new verses for specific situations, and even have audience members write new ones. The actual verses used here were written while driving to church one Sunday.

Rule Number Six - Words and Music by Carl J Ferrara (c) 2013
Driving down the highway, five minutes late for work,
This guy just whips around and cuts me off just like a jerk,
I roll down my window call him every name I know,
"Hey didn't you get the memo? I own the goddam road!"
            Remember Rule Number 6: Stop taking yourself so seriously,
            And forget about the other rules, there aren't any.

I remember that incident, it was on the news,
Everybody's going round wondering, what are we supposed to do.
I tell you if I'd have been there, I could have saved the day
I'd have taken down the bad guys and watched them run away.
             Remember Rule Number 6: Stop taking yourself so seriously,
            And forget about the other rules, there aren't any.

We're always fighting about that, we're always fighting about this,
Something happened 20 years ago, now she's my nemesis,
I know the right thing to do, and I ain't no hypocrite,
But that'd make me look weak, that'd make her look right, so I'll do the opposite.
             Remember Rule Number 6: Stop taking yourself so goddam seriously,
            And forget about the other rules, there aren't any.

            Remember Rule Number 6: Stop taking yourself so goddam seriously,
            And forget about the other rules, there aren't any.

Inspire Me - Week 7 - Art of Possibility Ch. 5

Chapter 5 of "Art of Possibility" is called "Leading From Every Chair." What I got out of it was the difference between motivating people by asserting your position over them, and motivating people by bringing the best out of them. A lot of it involves allowing them to participate in the process. It allows them to take partial ownership of the critical decisions.

There are those theater directors who tell their actors step by step, beat by beat, where to stand, what to do, and how to do it. Then, there are those who communicate to their actors what is needed in the scene, the play, the story. The actors can then find their own way to bring out their best performance to meet the needs of the work and create the desired effect.

Ben Zander accomplishes this with his orchestra by placing a white sheet of paper on everyone's music stand. The players may write comments, suggestions, criticisms, in order to communicate their needs to him. He then made a concerted effort to be conscious of those needs in rehearsal, and often the creative process is more effective because of it.

This got me thinking about inspiration. What inspires me? What inspires people I know? What do I try to do to help inspire others? I grouped it all into this song, as if it was one specific person. In truth, the inspirations mentioned in the song come from several of my friends and family members.

I thought about the song for a long time, and wrote it here and there, little by little over the course of 2 weeks. Hope you enjoy it.

Inspire Me - Words and Music by Carl J Ferrara, (c) 2013

You don't tell me what to do, you don't tell me how to do it.
You tell me what you need, and let me work through it.
I'm always showing off, trying to impress.
Don't want to let you down, that's why I do my best.

Can't you see?
You make me be all that I can be.
You open up new possibility.
You Inspire Me.

Life's spinning me around every single day.
You point me towards the audience, showing me the way.
You went ahead and did it, that's how I know I can.
I've got my own cheering section shouting, "You Da Man!"

Can't you see?
Open up the door and hand me the key.
Sparking all my creativity.
You Inspire Me.

Put obstacles in my path and watch me go around it.
See the path we leave behind is better than we found it.


Can't you see?
You make me be all that I can be.
You open up new possibility.
You Inspire Me.


Can't you see?
Open up the door and hand me the key.
Sparking all my creativity.
I'll do anything if you're right there with me.
You Inspire Me.

All I Have To Say - Week 6

I'm taking a break from the "Art of Possibility Project," to share a song I wrote, and wrote again, then wrote a third time for my wife.

My favorite rock and roll story about writer's block involves John Lennon. According to legend, he was battling a serious case of writer's block. No ideas were coming to him at all. One might ask, why didn't he turn to his writing partner, Paul McCartney, for inspiration? True Beatle fans know that the earliest Lennon/McCartney tunes were written together, but later songs were written seperately, and then the other guy would change a word or two in order to take credit for having some input.

So, John is sitting around waiting for inspiration, when finally, he decides to write ABOUT the fact that he has writer's block. He picked up his guitar (or sat at the piano, I don't know) and he started to write... "He's a real nowhere man, sitting in his nowhere land...." The result was one of my all time favorite Beatles songs.

Something similar happened to me. I wanted so badly to write a love song for my girlfriend. I fancied myself a romantic bard who could express himself beautifully and melt the lady's heart. But nothing came. I found myself locked into my own need to be "real." I could write romantic things, but the truth is what I felt went deeper than that. No words could accurately express, to my mind, my true feelings of love for this woman.

So, I pulled a Lennon, and decided to write a song about how hard it was for me to write a song. I figured that the most romantic thing I could say was, "Words cannot express how much I love you." I then played around with the sentiment and BOOM a song was born.

I dedicate this song to my beloved wife, Paula, on our 14th wedding anniversary. 14 years and we never had a fight.*

*that ended in dismemberment.

All I Have To Say - Words and Music by Carl J Ferrara (c) 1989

I've been trying to write a song for you to show how much I care,
But whenever I sit down to write, the words would not be there
I tried to be poetic, like I always wanted to be,
But the most beautiful words I know can't say what you mean to me.

If I knew the words, I'd put them in a song
But now I can see, I've been going about it all wrong.

I tried keeping it simple, nice and easy from the start,
But the words to a love song should come straight from the heart.
I tried to be dynamic in my own special way...
But why should I ramble on with words,
When "I Love You" is All I Have to Say.

I tried being ironic, trying to make you smile
But the way it turned out in the end was never quite my style.
I tried playing around with the words and the rhythms to see how that would go,
But the words, when set to music would never let my feelings show.

Oh, the music I would play would be the perfect start
But words can never say what I'm feeling in my heart.

So, I've given up on writing words, I've wasted too much time.
I've run out of clever things to say, and ways to make them sound the same.
And I finally realized as I do with every passing day...
I don't have to ramble on with words,
"I Love You" is All I Have To Say.

Because of Me - Week 5 - Art of Possibility Ch. 4

When Sandy hit, I was concerned for my family, and my friends, many of whom lived on the south shore of Long Island. My instinct was to go out and help where I could; but I found that I couldn't. My neighborhood was blocked in by fallen trees and downed wires. Plus, my power went out, and stayed out for over 2 weeks. So, as much as I wanted to offer my friends and family who lost houses, or heat, or food, someplace to shower and eat and stay warm, it was impossible. I remember being especially frustrated by that. I WANTED to help, but felt crippled by my complete inability to do so. Finally, when I returned to school, we opened the school as a place for relief; charging stations, food, clothing, internet; just a place where those in the community who needed could come to get. It felt so good to FINALLY be able to do SOMETHING, no matter how small it seemed.

This is what I thought about when I read Chapter 4 of Zander, "Being a Contribution." He starts off with the tale of the woman who is throwing starfish back into the ocean that have washed up on a beach. A man sees her and tells her, "What are you doing? You'll never save them all. What you're doing doesn't matter." And she responds, as she tosses a star fish, "It mattered to THAT one." The practice of "Being a Contribution" is to set forth every day trying to contribute to the world, no matter how small or minor you may think that contribution is. It shifts your thinking from serving yourself, to serving others.

This song is the first song of the SONG A WEEK 2013 project that I actually STARTED this year. The other four songs are from 2009 or beyond. At first I wrote a song directly about my experience during Sandy, but the song was just not working. The inspiration wasn't there. The minute I abandoned that initial idea, and re-read the chapter, I had this new idea: "Let It Be Because of Me." The song then just poured out of me. I tweaked it, and refined over the course of the week, and shifted the lyrics to reflect the spirit of generosity, and trying to help others in need, rather than making "Let it Be Because of me" mean "Let me come in and save the day!" I think I succeeded. Enjoy.

Because of Me - Music and Lyrics by Carl J Ferrara, (c) 2013

A man took in his family after the tide washed out the shore
A house that was made for 2 is now home to 10 or more.
I gave him food to tie him over, even brought it to his car,
Funny how a little thing helps us move on from where we are.
                Let it be Because of Me.

My friends were feeling tension, a husband and a wife,
Their marriage being ripped apart by all the stress of life.
I volunteered to babysit so they could have a date,
They hashed it out and reconnected, they're still married to this day.
               Let it be Because of Me.

Let it be because I made a contribution
Let it be because I had something to say
Let it be because I asked, "What can I do for you today?"
               Let it be Because of Me.

A kid is being bullied, just being him is really tough
Doesn't see the point of living, and he's almost given up
But he wakes up every morning just to practice for my show
He discovered hidden talents that he didn't even know.
               Let it be Because of Me

Let it be because I reached out at that moment,
Let it be because I thought not of myself.
Let the world be that much better because I chose to help.
               Let it be Because of Me