Don't Try This At Home - Week 9

As I write this, meteorologists are predicting a snowstorm. They admit, there are high temperatures, and maybe we're talking about an inch or 2. Some are exaggerating and claiming 10 inches. (insert dirty joke here.) It's not the facts that people are responding to, though. It's the tone. I heard a report about the impending storm EVERY 10 minutes! Events are being shut down, school activities are being cancelled, for what? A mere dusting of white stuff on the ground?

When I initially started writing "Don't Try This At Home," it was a response to the very idea that on a show like, say, Jackass, they do ridiculously moronic and dangerous stunts that no one with an IQ over 80 would even THINK would be fun; and yet they NEED to put up a disclaimer: "These stunts are dangerous, don't try this at home." My first reaction was... DUH! Is anybody out there really stupid enough to want to try this stuff? And then a frightening thought popped into my head. YES. Some people are morons. And the world is such that programs need to protect themselves by making clear that they do not wish anyone to try this stupidity on their own.

But as I thought of examples to write about, I started to think about how much our thinking is influenced by the media. Without a show like Jackass, would anyone even consider stapling their nuts together? No! But Steve-O does it, and somehow we're tempted to want to try it. And that extends to other things. Perhaps you know someone who, during a political discussion, simply regurgitates what they heard on FOX news, or Rachel Maddow the night before; rather than offering a new perspective.

So, mimicking real life, my song begins by pointing out a simple, interesting fact, but then gradually evolves into a distopian, Orwellian reality where "Our Free Will Is Gone." This is about as political as I get. Enjoy!

Don't Try This At Home - Music and Lyrics by Carl J Ferrara (c) 1994

They have to tell us what's right and what's wrong.
They have to tell us that it's only a song.
They have to tell us, "Hey, don't be like us."
They have to tell us that it's dangerous.
           It's a scary world that we live in if we can't be trusted on our own.
           And they have to tell us Don't Try This At Home.

They have to tell us, "Hey, be careful out there."
They tell us to be cautious, they tell us to be scared.
They tell us who to hate, they tell us who to love.
They have to tell us there's a God above.
          It's a scary world that we live in if we can't be trusted on our own.
          And they have to tell us Don't Try This At Home.

They have to tell us what's black and what's white,
They tell us to be peaceful then show us how to fight.
They tell us what to think, they tell us what to feel,
But they forgot to tell us that this fiction ain't real!

They tell us what's right, and then they tell us what's cool.
They tell us who's a god, they tell us who's a fool.
They have to tell us whose side we're on.
They have to tell us that our free will is gone.
           It's a scary world that we live in if we can't be trusted on our own.
           And they have to tell us Don't Try This At Home.