courtesy of my blog: http://cjferrara.blogspot.com/
Those of you who know my chequered past know that I have an unfortunate history of getting fired. Truth be told, I actually have only been FIRED 4 times in my life, but I have a long list of jobs that I have left for one reason or another.
During that time, the time of the firing, that is, I developed a phobia, an irrational fear of interoffice envelopes. Interoffice envelopes are usually the method of sending me the notice that I will not be back next year, or the notice that I have a meeting scheduled with a principal, and I should bring a Union rep. So, for years, I would have little baby panic attacks every time a manilla folder was in my mailbox. In the "paperless" digital age, I have transfered that fear to e-mails. I dread the words, "Please see me at your convenience," because it usually means something not good.
This week is my annual Drama club show. My district has an annoying habit of butting in during tech week. "Are you ready?" "Did you get the tickets?" "How about the programs?" This past production these annoyances included for the first time, "I'm very disappointed in the mess your students left on the stage, you may not build or paint here again." Just when I thought I got over my Reprimand-o-phobia, it's come back.
All week, I check my school e-mail and I say a little prayer, "Lord, please let there not be any stress in my mailbox today." Thank God, there hasn't been any. But still, every minute of every day, I dread the impending doom. I practice my defense, as I'm often prone to do, just in case. It adds stress to my day that I don't need. I know it's wrong, but it's a hard habit to break.
This gets me thinking about one of the practices in my favorite book, and my second bible, (other than the actual bible) "The Art of Possibility" by Benjamin and Rosamunde Zander. Later in the book, the practice they reccomend is to see the world as it actually is, not as how you think it might be. As I put it to my daughter, "You're not allowed to worry about things until they ACTUALLY happen."
Consider this. My good friends, lets call them Gary and Dana, have a tendency to not return phone calls. Nothing good or bad about it, it's just they way they are. So we call them and leave a message asking if they want to do something this weekend. And we wait. They don't get back to us until just before Friday. In the meantime, we speculate.
Why haven't they called us back? Don't they want to talk to us? If we refused to call someone back, it would be because we hate them or are angry with them. Are they angry with us? Why would they be angry with us? Is it because we called them noodniks the other day? We were joking! They can't take a joke? What's the matter with them. We knew they were joking when they said they were going to key our car. What if they weren't joking, and they ARE going to key our car? Those noodniks! What the hell, man? I'm not speaking to them again if they're going to do that.
Simple concern turns to outright anger. But here's the thing. ALL of that previous paragraph was inside OUR heads. All that actually happened was that they didn't call us back right away. Therefore, there was really no need to get angry. Had we just practiced that rule of "Don't worry until absolutely necessary," There would have been a week of looking forward to Gary and Dana's phone call, rather than a week of hating their guts and being on the lookout for our car getting keyed.
I need to re-read that book, and start again on the path to chillaxing! I'm actually in the midst of writing a collection of songs, one for each practice in the book. Similar to what Sixx A.M. did for Nikki Sixx's book, the Heroin Diaries, except for Art of Possibility. What I hope is that the songs will remind me of the practices and help talk me down from the downward spiral I tend to go into when I see an inter-office envelope.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
A MUSIC RELATED ENTRY!!!!!!!!!!
courtesy of my blog: http://cjferrara.blogspot.com/
Wow, I blog about politics and dietary issues a lot. Well, here's a change of pace, I will actually blog about my own profession, that of being a musician.
I'm a composer. I'm delving into choral music a bit, but my most successful pieces have been full length musicals. I have two: The children's show, "Right Before Your Eyes," and a full length holiday show called, "The Legend of St. Nicholas."
Well, I have an idea for my next show. It's tentatively called "Rachel and Leah." No, not my daughters, the Rachel and Leah from the Bible. I have been fascinated by the story ever since I researched "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat." Jacob, Joseph's father, has a long illustrious history in the book of Genesis. The musical would focus on his relationships with Rachel and Leah, and Bilbah and Zilpah, his four wives.
Jacob travels to the estate of Laban, where he falls in love with Rachel, Laban's youngest daughter. In return for Rachel's hand in marriage, Jacob agrees to work 7 years for Laban. During that time, the farm flourishes and business is great, mainly thanks to Jacob's leadership. Not wanting to lose him, Laban tricks Jacob into marrying Leah, his eldest, instead of Rachel. She's veiled and they marry each other without seeing each other. until the morning after the wedding night, when he wakes to find he married the wrong sister! Laban makes him work another 7 years in return for Rachel's hand. During THAT wedding, Jacob checks by lifting Rachel's veil, just to be sure it's really her. That's where we get the tradition of the groom lifting the veil before the wedding!
Afterwards, Leah and Rachel struggle with their feelings for Jacob, and for each other. Leah, realizing that Jacob will never love her, strives to be the best mother to his children that she can be. Rachel is unsuccessful at having children, and grows jealous of Jacob's familial feelings towards Leah. She gives Jacob her servant, Bilbah to sleep with so that Bilbah may bear him a son for her. Jacob has a third wife. When Leah stops being fertile, and Rachel finally conceives Joseph, Leah becomes jealous and does the same with her servant Zilpah. Four.
What attracts me to this material is the concept of writing songs entirely from a different character's point of view. All the great Broadway songwriters have a certain wealth of material with a quite out of the ordinary story to it. A specific point of view, yet one that you need to delve into the song to find. Many of these songs, like Maltby/Shire's "Miss Byrd," or Jason Robert Brown's "Stars and Moon," ended up in collective shows, but were written for another project.
Now this wouldn't be a failed project, I hope, but it would challenge me. Right Before Your Eyes has comical songs, and St. Nick had songs written from basically the different sides of my own personality. I was seeking a real acting, and writing challenge. As well as finally doing an "adult" show. (Not an ADULT show, but a show for mature audiences.)
What is each character going through emotionally when they decide to do what they end up doing? How does Leah feel when she is rejected by Jacob after their wedding night? What would motivate Rachel to allow, heck even insist, that her husband sleep with another woman?
I realize that in Biblical times, this was just done. In a more modern setting, there would be some heartbreaking emotions behind each difficult decision. Jacob, in the end, will finally end the squabbling between the four women, by putting the focus on their family. I also like the fact that this is a VERY unconventional family, and yet, there are Family Values that keep this group together. I could set this story in modern times, and make them a mormon family, but that's unfamiliar territory. I think I'll set it in Biblical times, and the characters will have more modern sensibilities.
Now, to my Facebook friends, and Theatrically inclinated peeps, I call upon you all to help. I AM seeking a collaborator. Someone to light a fire under my ass from time to time, and also to motivate me occasionally to get going on what needs to be done. (hee hee) I also, from actors who aren't writers, or directors out there, I'd appreciate input. I may post a question or two, or lyrics in progress, or a scene. PLEASE COMMENT. Even if you hate it, tell me why. In St. Nick, the most liberating thing about writing it was letting it go, and getting other opinions.
And I promise, THIS one won't take 15 years to get on stage.
Wow, I blog about politics and dietary issues a lot. Well, here's a change of pace, I will actually blog about my own profession, that of being a musician.
I'm a composer. I'm delving into choral music a bit, but my most successful pieces have been full length musicals. I have two: The children's show, "Right Before Your Eyes," and a full length holiday show called, "The Legend of St. Nicholas."
Well, I have an idea for my next show. It's tentatively called "Rachel and Leah." No, not my daughters, the Rachel and Leah from the Bible. I have been fascinated by the story ever since I researched "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat." Jacob, Joseph's father, has a long illustrious history in the book of Genesis. The musical would focus on his relationships with Rachel and Leah, and Bilbah and Zilpah, his four wives.
Jacob travels to the estate of Laban, where he falls in love with Rachel, Laban's youngest daughter. In return for Rachel's hand in marriage, Jacob agrees to work 7 years for Laban. During that time, the farm flourishes and business is great, mainly thanks to Jacob's leadership. Not wanting to lose him, Laban tricks Jacob into marrying Leah, his eldest, instead of Rachel. She's veiled and they marry each other without seeing each other. until the morning after the wedding night, when he wakes to find he married the wrong sister! Laban makes him work another 7 years in return for Rachel's hand. During THAT wedding, Jacob checks by lifting Rachel's veil, just to be sure it's really her. That's where we get the tradition of the groom lifting the veil before the wedding!
Afterwards, Leah and Rachel struggle with their feelings for Jacob, and for each other. Leah, realizing that Jacob will never love her, strives to be the best mother to his children that she can be. Rachel is unsuccessful at having children, and grows jealous of Jacob's familial feelings towards Leah. She gives Jacob her servant, Bilbah to sleep with so that Bilbah may bear him a son for her. Jacob has a third wife. When Leah stops being fertile, and Rachel finally conceives Joseph, Leah becomes jealous and does the same with her servant Zilpah. Four.
What attracts me to this material is the concept of writing songs entirely from a different character's point of view. All the great Broadway songwriters have a certain wealth of material with a quite out of the ordinary story to it. A specific point of view, yet one that you need to delve into the song to find. Many of these songs, like Maltby/Shire's "Miss Byrd," or Jason Robert Brown's "Stars and Moon," ended up in collective shows, but were written for another project.
Now this wouldn't be a failed project, I hope, but it would challenge me. Right Before Your Eyes has comical songs, and St. Nick had songs written from basically the different sides of my own personality. I was seeking a real acting, and writing challenge. As well as finally doing an "adult" show. (Not an ADULT show, but a show for mature audiences.)
What is each character going through emotionally when they decide to do what they end up doing? How does Leah feel when she is rejected by Jacob after their wedding night? What would motivate Rachel to allow, heck even insist, that her husband sleep with another woman?
I realize that in Biblical times, this was just done. In a more modern setting, there would be some heartbreaking emotions behind each difficult decision. Jacob, in the end, will finally end the squabbling between the four women, by putting the focus on their family. I also like the fact that this is a VERY unconventional family, and yet, there are Family Values that keep this group together. I could set this story in modern times, and make them a mormon family, but that's unfamiliar territory. I think I'll set it in Biblical times, and the characters will have more modern sensibilities.
Now, to my Facebook friends, and Theatrically inclinated peeps, I call upon you all to help. I AM seeking a collaborator. Someone to light a fire under my ass from time to time, and also to motivate me occasionally to get going on what needs to be done. (hee hee) I also, from actors who aren't writers, or directors out there, I'd appreciate input. I may post a question or two, or lyrics in progress, or a scene. PLEASE COMMENT. Even if you hate it, tell me why. In St. Nick, the most liberating thing about writing it was letting it go, and getting other opinions.
And I promise, THIS one won't take 15 years to get on stage.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Double Down
courtesy of my blog: http://cjferrara.blogspot.com/
OK, I'll make this quick. Because I want to document the year's events, I HAVE to mention KFC's new "sandwich" the Double Down. If you've not heard, it's a breadless sandwich consisting of Bacon and cheese sandwiched between two chicken breasts. These breasts come in fried or grilled.
It's being toted by media as being sick, disgusting, how could they? Jimmy Fallon has been joking about it, as have all the TV hosts.
I have to say, it DOES seem like an over-the-top, artery clogging mess. But think about it. Go on....
I have been on this "Slow Food" kick. Slow Food is the opposite of fast food. There's a lot involved in it, but put simply, instead of getting that fast food thing, try making it from scratch, using good, healthy ingredients. Don't buy Kraft Mac and Cheese, instead make a cheese sause, and put it over your own pasta. Often, it's not the fat or calories that make you unhealthy, it's the fact that you're eating pre-processed, chemical laden, food-type product. Here's a revelation... THERE'S NO CHEESE IN KRAFT MAC AND CHEESE! There's powdery cheese flavoring that makes a nice sauce when added to milk. I can melt cheese into a bechamel sauce and do the same thing, even better, in fact, and it would be healthier.
So, I can make my own verion of a Double Down at home. Just take two chicken breasts. I COULD bread them and saute them, or bake them, or Fry them, if I fry them correctly, they won't be greasy and bad for me. I can then melt some cheese over it, and serve with bacon bits. That actually wouldn't be that bad! In fact, in some circles, it could even be considered to be healthier than most things. The thing is, I wouldn't pick it up and eat it like a sandwich. That would be strange and weird, but unhealthy? I dunno.
OK, I'll make this quick. Because I want to document the year's events, I HAVE to mention KFC's new "sandwich" the Double Down. If you've not heard, it's a breadless sandwich consisting of Bacon and cheese sandwiched between two chicken breasts. These breasts come in fried or grilled.
It's being toted by media as being sick, disgusting, how could they? Jimmy Fallon has been joking about it, as have all the TV hosts.
I have to say, it DOES seem like an over-the-top, artery clogging mess. But think about it. Go on....
I have been on this "Slow Food" kick. Slow Food is the opposite of fast food. There's a lot involved in it, but put simply, instead of getting that fast food thing, try making it from scratch, using good, healthy ingredients. Don't buy Kraft Mac and Cheese, instead make a cheese sause, and put it over your own pasta. Often, it's not the fat or calories that make you unhealthy, it's the fact that you're eating pre-processed, chemical laden, food-type product. Here's a revelation... THERE'S NO CHEESE IN KRAFT MAC AND CHEESE! There's powdery cheese flavoring that makes a nice sauce when added to milk. I can melt cheese into a bechamel sauce and do the same thing, even better, in fact, and it would be healthier.
So, I can make my own verion of a Double Down at home. Just take two chicken breasts. I COULD bread them and saute them, or bake them, or Fry them, if I fry them correctly, they won't be greasy and bad for me. I can then melt some cheese over it, and serve with bacon bits. That actually wouldn't be that bad! In fact, in some circles, it could even be considered to be healthier than most things. The thing is, I wouldn't pick it up and eat it like a sandwich. That would be strange and weird, but unhealthy? I dunno.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Pepsi Free: Epilogue.
courtesy of my blog: http://cjferrara.blogspot.com/
OK. To bring newcomers up to speed, I gave up Pepsi AND Snacking after 9pm for Lent. I did this for religious reasons, I was making a sacrifice for those 40 days, but while I was at it, I thought I'd use it as an excuse to research the effects of High Fructose Corn Syrup, or HFCS. I chronicled on this blog
W E E K B Y W E E K what happened. (Click on each letter to get a blog entry.)
So I did what any self respecting Catholic would do on the last day of a Lenten Fast... I BINGED. I had easily 4 Pepsis on Easter Sunday, and the Night of Easter, I snacked until 12 am. It was AWESOME! But then... I started to notice something. I felt horrible.
First with the Pepsi. It's refreshing, but one is enough. In fact in subsequent days this week, I have had cans of Pepsi that I didn't even finish. Now people who know me will tell you I've been known to chug one can, then open the other can with one hand to follow it up. There have been lunches, and I just noticed this, where I'd order a "coke, no ice" and slam the whole pint before a refill. So for me to not finish a can that I was casually drinking with dinner, That's saying something.
I suppose, I detoxed. I also got used to other forms of beverage as an accompaniment to a meal. I really see my Pepsi habit, as well as ALL my unhealthy eating habits, as true addictions. Now, I don't need to check myself into anywhere. In fact, all it took was for me to give it up for 40 days. (Actually more like 45, because I don't believe in taking Sundays off, like some Catholics.)
The other thing is, and this is a bit gross. I have had, from time to time... shall we say... gas issues in the morning. Now, as a Teacher, I'm up at 6 in the morning. As Carl J Ferrara, I'm also up at 6:10, 6:20, and 6:30. My first order of business is a cup of coffee, and something for breakfast, along with lots of water.
I'm sure at some point during Lent, I did, indeed have gas. But I only started NOTICING a major problem... so to speak.... after I went back off the diet. I had a theory that it was the midnight snacking that did it. I eat something fatty or carb-y at 12 at night. Then sleep. My body does nothing to burn off the carbs or fat. So it sits there. Plus, your metabolism slows down when you sleep, and then upon awakening, you've got 6 hour old food in your stomach, plus a good shot of Starbucks. Something's going to explode!
The second half of this past week, I stopped eating after 9 again, or if I NEED to snack, it's something really light. And the gassiness has subsided.
Next time I weigh myself, I'll see if going back on the Pepsi has done anything. I can only tell you that I haven't CRAVED a Pepsi in about a month. And Easter was the most soda I had in a while. I prefer water now, or even Iced Tea. I just used the last of my "Stash" of Cola... And I used it in a steak marinade. Which is delicious, by the way, I highly recommend it. Take your favorite Barbecue or Yoshida sauce. Add a quarter to a half a can of cola, and then Salt, Pepper, Garlic, Onion and Herbs and Spices. The Phosphoric Acid in the cola marinates the steak, or even chicken, and the HFCS sweetens up the spices, so you can even add some heat to the mix. Enjoy!
OK. To bring newcomers up to speed, I gave up Pepsi AND Snacking after 9pm for Lent. I did this for religious reasons, I was making a sacrifice for those 40 days, but while I was at it, I thought I'd use it as an excuse to research the effects of High Fructose Corn Syrup, or HFCS. I chronicled on this blog
W E E K B Y W E E K what happened. (Click on each letter to get a blog entry.)
So I did what any self respecting Catholic would do on the last day of a Lenten Fast... I BINGED. I had easily 4 Pepsis on Easter Sunday, and the Night of Easter, I snacked until 12 am. It was AWESOME! But then... I started to notice something. I felt horrible.
First with the Pepsi. It's refreshing, but one is enough. In fact in subsequent days this week, I have had cans of Pepsi that I didn't even finish. Now people who know me will tell you I've been known to chug one can, then open the other can with one hand to follow it up. There have been lunches, and I just noticed this, where I'd order a "coke, no ice" and slam the whole pint before a refill. So for me to not finish a can that I was casually drinking with dinner, That's saying something.
I suppose, I detoxed. I also got used to other forms of beverage as an accompaniment to a meal. I really see my Pepsi habit, as well as ALL my unhealthy eating habits, as true addictions. Now, I don't need to check myself into anywhere. In fact, all it took was for me to give it up for 40 days. (Actually more like 45, because I don't believe in taking Sundays off, like some Catholics.)
The other thing is, and this is a bit gross. I have had, from time to time... shall we say... gas issues in the morning. Now, as a Teacher, I'm up at 6 in the morning. As Carl J Ferrara, I'm also up at 6:10, 6:20, and 6:30. My first order of business is a cup of coffee, and something for breakfast, along with lots of water.
I'm sure at some point during Lent, I did, indeed have gas. But I only started NOTICING a major problem... so to speak.... after I went back off the diet. I had a theory that it was the midnight snacking that did it. I eat something fatty or carb-y at 12 at night. Then sleep. My body does nothing to burn off the carbs or fat. So it sits there. Plus, your metabolism slows down when you sleep, and then upon awakening, you've got 6 hour old food in your stomach, plus a good shot of Starbucks. Something's going to explode!
The second half of this past week, I stopped eating after 9 again, or if I NEED to snack, it's something really light. And the gassiness has subsided.
Next time I weigh myself, I'll see if going back on the Pepsi has done anything. I can only tell you that I haven't CRAVED a Pepsi in about a month. And Easter was the most soda I had in a while. I prefer water now, or even Iced Tea. I just used the last of my "Stash" of Cola... And I used it in a steak marinade. Which is delicious, by the way, I highly recommend it. Take your favorite Barbecue or Yoshida sauce. Add a quarter to a half a can of cola, and then Salt, Pepper, Garlic, Onion and Herbs and Spices. The Phosphoric Acid in the cola marinates the steak, or even chicken, and the HFCS sweetens up the spices, so you can even add some heat to the mix. Enjoy!
Friday, April 9, 2010
Thoughts
courtesy of my blog: http://cjferrara.blogspot.com/
Lots of things are on my mind. None so in depth that they warrant an individual post. So here are just some things that go through my head.
Tiger Woods got in trouble for having sex with lots of women. The dream of every boy who wants to become a professional athlete is that when they do, they'll make lots of money, and have sex with lots of women. Will Tiger's having to curb this little perk of his success affect the future of Golf as we know it?
How stupid do you have to be to not realize that the commentators on FOX News are stupid?
I actually think that self esteem is not what children need. They need self-realization. They need to be proud of the things they do well, and ashamed of the things they do that are wrong. And under NO circumstances are they ever to think so highly of themselves that they believe it's appropriate for them to be disrespectful to you, an adult.
What if it turns out that Penny from Lost actually IS Olivia Benford from Flash Forward, and Charlie is really that creepy scientist guy? Now, THAT would be a twist.
Saying "God Damn it!" isn't breaking the 2nd Commandment if it isn't in vain. If you are actually asking for God to Damn a particular thing, then that's an appropriate use of the phrase. By the same token, you may say that Cain was a God Damned Murderer, because he murdered his brother, and God actually DID Damn him.
All the male singers on the Disney Channel sing with a nasal, whiny voice. Is this to encourage girls to see whiny boys as attractive, and therefore, all the nerdy Disney and Pixar animators will eventually get laid?
There's a reason why "American Idol" isn't called "American Singer" or "American Musician," or "America's Got Talent."
Lots of things are on my mind. None so in depth that they warrant an individual post. So here are just some things that go through my head.
Tiger Woods got in trouble for having sex with lots of women. The dream of every boy who wants to become a professional athlete is that when they do, they'll make lots of money, and have sex with lots of women. Will Tiger's having to curb this little perk of his success affect the future of Golf as we know it?
How stupid do you have to be to not realize that the commentators on FOX News are stupid?
I actually think that self esteem is not what children need. They need self-realization. They need to be proud of the things they do well, and ashamed of the things they do that are wrong. And under NO circumstances are they ever to think so highly of themselves that they believe it's appropriate for them to be disrespectful to you, an adult.
What if it turns out that Penny from Lost actually IS Olivia Benford from Flash Forward, and Charlie is really that creepy scientist guy? Now, THAT would be a twist.
Saying "God Damn it!" isn't breaking the 2nd Commandment if it isn't in vain. If you are actually asking for God to Damn a particular thing, then that's an appropriate use of the phrase. By the same token, you may say that Cain was a God Damned Murderer, because he murdered his brother, and God actually DID Damn him.
All the male singers on the Disney Channel sing with a nasal, whiny voice. Is this to encourage girls to see whiny boys as attractive, and therefore, all the nerdy Disney and Pixar animators will eventually get laid?
There's a reason why "American Idol" isn't called "American Singer" or "American Musician," or "America's Got Talent."
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