God Hates Weathermen

courtesy of my blog: http://cjferrara.blogspot.com/

I have a slightly religious theory.

Before I lay down this theory on you, a few things about my personal belief system.

I'm a Christian. I'm not what I would call "Born Again," rather more like a wandering Christian. Confirmed Catholic, but with a father who is a strict agnostic. I grew up doubting my church, yet also believing in it. During College, I met a few Born Again Christians who felt like they needed to convert me. I tried to tell them I was Catholic already, but they wouldn't listen. "Oh, So you're not really Christian," they used to say to me. I called myself a Godspellian for a while, choosing to focus on the teachings of Christ as laid out in the musical Godspell, and ignoring everything else in the Bible. My friend Joe, who is no longer with us, and I used to discuss religious issues constantly. Finally, about 8 years ago, I got a job as a Church organist at a Presbyterian Church. Being a part of the worship planning process rekindled my faith and, I feel, saved my life.

Long story short, (too late), I am absolutely certain that there is a God, and that he guides the events of the world.

Now, for part two of my beliefs: I DON'T believe in Global Warming. Now calm down, let me explain. I realize that something is up with the world's climate. Weather is unusual and unpredictable. I just don't believe that the cause of all this climate change is the gradual raising of the temperatures of the earth. It's sound science in theory, but I don't believe that it's happening, and I don't subscribe to the end of the world scenario laid out in "An Inconvenient Truth." That having been said, I DO believe that we should "Go Green." Respecting the environment just makes sense. We shouldn't waste our resources, pollute our air, or shit up the planet. We need to live here, we should respect nature around us. I just don't need to be frightened or threatened into doing it.

I believe that the weather can't be predicted. As I write this, weathermen have been predicting a rain storm all day turning into snow tonight. It's 8 in the morning, and it's snowing. How can you be mistaken about a weather report for the next day, and then tell me that you can predict what will happen 100 years from now thanks to Global Warming? The Christian in me believes that God controls the weather, and if He wants it to snow in Texas, then it shall be written. The Skeptic in me believes that weather patterns are guided by several unpredictable variables, and there's no way to know when that butterfly flapped its wings in Tokyo to create the monsoon in Florida.

My theory is this... God Hates Weathermen. Well, probably not hate, I don't believe that God hates anyone, but if you have the hubris to claim to be able to predict the weather; maybe God chooses to send a message; a subtle hint that He's the one in control, not you. And just to prove His point, in this age of Global Warming theories and weather predictions; He makes it snow in 49 of the 50 states, many of which hardly ever get snow. He follows up unusually temperate winters with a Snowlapalooza; leaving Meteorologists and Theorists alike wondering how Global Warming could possibly explain this. The science won't back it up, but they'll try to make it.

Meanwhile, those of us who take the weather day by day, will simply enjoy the flakes, shovel the walk and get on with our day. For we have given up this idea of how we need to explain these things away, and have a sense of control in matters that we should just trust in the forces that guide us. I do not fear the snow. I survived 4 years in Potsdam. I trust that God will keep everything in balance.